When I had been a stay at home mom for about 2 years, I became very restless. I wanted my career, somehow, some way. I had eliminated the work from home opportunities, as it seemed daunting to sell things. I was used to teaching people things, and helping people with things, but selling was not my cup of tea! In my mind, I worked up a plan that I could still get my corporate Human Resources career back. I just needed to find something that didn't involve a lot of travel and didn't involve a long commute to work. By this time, there were a few companies located in The Woodlands that would be perfect for me, and I for them... we just needed to connect and they would surely die to have my expertise! I actually started posting for jobs. I had a phone interview with a HR consulting company, and was scheduled for a 2nd interview. The timing seemed perfect that Alexander would be about 2 years old, and I would not feel too guilty leaving him with someone, and the twins would be in school full time (half day kindergarten, but it seemed full time at that time).... then... I learned that I was pregnant with #4. It was not planned, but not really unplanned. We had just been in such chaos that we had not considered our plans yet. Someone else decided for us. The twins were 5, Alexander was 1, and now a baby in the mix? I just laughed uncontrollably constantly (that is what I do under stress).
The recruiter for my job interview called me about 2 minutes after I learned I was pregnant, and told me that the job had suddenly changed. It would now require travel 4 days per week to the client's place of business -- this would last for at least 9 months, and then the travel may slow down. It was a sign! I didn't even have to think about it for a second. I told her that I could not possibly do the travel (and left out the part about my plans for the next 9 months). What was I thinking? This could not work. Suddenly, memories of the stress I had in my former career... the calls to hubby... negotiating which one of us had the more important justification to stay at work, and which one needed to get their hiney home (that was usually me getting my hiney home). The nanny hated me because I was frequently 10 minutes late coming home because I had to take that last phone call at work. I felt guilty for neglecting my sweet twins. I once got shingles from the stress of it all, yet those memories had faded. I just wanted to be "important" again, and somehow I told myself that my career would make me "important". Was I not doing the most important thing in the world? Then why did I miss my job so much? The hormones made me teary eyed about the thought that I had almost abandoned these little things for a job. I pulled myself together and settled into the thought of being a mom of FOUR children under the age of FIVE. How would I get myself ready for this challenge?
I was okay with this decision, because with or without a baby, the travel would be next to impossible with my husband's demanding work schedule. "Move on", I told myself... "next chapter". I put the thought of my career on the back burner, and started to plan for baby #4... a boy...our unexpected blessing...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Journey for Some Meaning for Mommy
I wondered what I would do? I explored the typical mommy businesses, cosmetics, toy sales, cooking parties, even hosted a few of these parties, and still I didn't see myself doing this and I couldn't imagine having to sell to my friends and host parties to do this. I have a lot of respect for the people who do this, but it just didn't seem like "me". Besides, my husband isn't available to help with kid care as much as I would likely need. ... And, who would I get to care for my 3 kids (soon to be 4), and how much would that cost... and how much would I actually make. Not that money was my primary goal, but I at least needed to come out ahead or it doesn't make sense. I kept coming back to the thought that there has to be something I can do out there, where I can share this vast knowledge it took me so long to gain, and the education I so dearly paid for. Surely someone needs my expertise, and will be willing to pay for say ten hours per week of my time. Ha! Who needs such a small amount of time? And would pay what my knowledge is worth? or at least would pay more than my childcare would cost to work? It is a challenge!
My Search for Work from Home Career
After I made the decision to stay home, someone told me it would take about a year until I missed everything. It was almost to the day for me. Of course, the fact that we had a baby and moved within that year likely gave me enough distraction to last the full year. I missed the income, but mostly, I missed the success and the friends, and the interaction, and yes, I missed having the ability to go to the restroom alone, and just think. I actually started to wonder if I was a better mom when I did work some. When I did this, I didn't have to focus so much on the laundry and cleaning, and I came home ready to play with my kids because I missed them terribly. Now that I was home, I felt like I was cleaning up after everyone all of the time, and when I had a moment to sit down, I just wanted to sit in peace. I loved being home with them, but I was not getting the quality of time with my children that I had hoped for. What happened?
I was looking for kudos from my husband for things like cleaning out the garage or a closet, and he didn't understand this need. "Yeah", he would say, "it looks better", and shrug his shoulders, at which point I would burst into tears (which don't normally come easy to me). He knew this was not normal for me. I knew something had to happen here. I started researching my options for returning to some sort of career. The baby was now one, and twins were about to enter kindergarten, so this seemed more possible. I posted online for a few HR jobs, and actually had an interview with a local company for a job that sounded promising. Since the location was close to home, I could possibly manage this career with less time away from my family that other locations, and I might be happier, and our finances less strained.
This company called with a job offer, and the job had suddenly changed. It was now a job that would require 4 days per week of travel, for the first 9 months. ALSO... I just found out I was PREGNANT again! It just wasn't in the cards for now. I was back on the hunt for something I could do from home without interrupting my family, and without a huge risk or obligation to sell to my friends and neighbors.
I was looking for kudos from my husband for things like cleaning out the garage or a closet, and he didn't understand this need. "Yeah", he would say, "it looks better", and shrug his shoulders, at which point I would burst into tears (which don't normally come easy to me). He knew this was not normal for me. I knew something had to happen here. I started researching my options for returning to some sort of career. The baby was now one, and twins were about to enter kindergarten, so this seemed more possible. I posted online for a few HR jobs, and actually had an interview with a local company for a job that sounded promising. Since the location was close to home, I could possibly manage this career with less time away from my family that other locations, and I might be happier, and our finances less strained.
This company called with a job offer, and the job had suddenly changed. It was now a job that would require 4 days per week of travel, for the first 9 months. ALSO... I just found out I was PREGNANT again! It just wasn't in the cards for now. I was back on the hunt for something I could do from home without interrupting my family, and without a huge risk or obligation to sell to my friends and neighbors.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I love this job… I work 4 my kids… my road to a work at home business…
I left my corporate career 5 years ago, in the middle of one of the largest corporate mergers in the high tech industry. My twins were almost three years old at the time, and I had enjoyed a part time career for the first 2 years of their life, but when my company announced this merger, I knew my struggles with part-timerhood were over. The 2 years had been a gift, as we really needed the income, and I really needed the balance, and my hubby was working and traveling, trying to establish himself in his new career when the twins were born… and I really worried that I was not up to the job of staying at home full time with these tiny preemie twins. It was not that I was lazy, or didn't think I could handle the stress, or didn't want to be the best mom ever. I honestly was afraid that I just was not capable. I forget where I put my keys almost daily, and I leave the lights on often, sometimes leave my purse in my car even (until my car was broken into for this reason). I am the one that goes into a room, then forgets why I traveled there. What if I forget the babies? What if I forget to feed them? (duhhh… I didn't know much about babies then – I soon learned that they don't really let you forget to feed them). I forget to feed the cat. I had all of these arguments for hiring someone to help me care for these fragile angelic beings I had given birth to, and keeping my career, especially since my nice boss allowed me to stay on in a part-time career.
When the big merger was announced, I was already struggling to stay part time. I was really doing a full time job in a reduced hour job, since I was working at home most nights after I put the kids to bed, but at least I had some flexibility, which helped my family. I saw that there would likely be no place for a part time HR person in the new company, at least for a while. After much consideration, I offered to manage a mega project in the first year of the merger, which involved managing the HR integration for a business unit, including the responsibility for 4,000 layoffs. I knew that this position would end after this first year, and I was able to leave on a high note. During this year, I actually enjoyed the challenging project. I became more engaged in the business than I had been since becoming a mother. I received a lot of recognition for managing this project, and I was perhaps more visible than I had ever been in a project. I had a few inquiries about my plans to leave after the project, and propositions to stay on. This was tempting, because I really was loving the work.
This was like tug of war though. I often found myself on the phone with my husband at 6:00 pm (the time I needed to leave to get home for childcare provider), negotiating with hubby about who's work was more pressing, and who would go home. When I was at work, I felt like I was neglecting my children, and when I was at home, I knew I was neglecting my work. I really never felt like everything was as it should be. I saw no other choice but to leave at the end of the merger integration project, and become a stay at home mom, for a while. I was not sure how long I would last at home, but I was ready to try it, and looking forward to spending time with my kids.
I think I always knew I would need to find something to do as a career from home… I started researching work from home opportunities almost immediately.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
2000 - Our Life Changed - TWINS!
My due date was May 29, but the little stinkers couldn't wait that long. They were breached and just not maximizing their space, so on April 18, only about 4 months after learning we were having twins, we were parents. They were healthy and beautiful and tiny tiny preemies. It was all what the doctors call normal preemie stuff, but it doesn't seem at all normal when you are going through it.
Welcome to the world, Maggie and Anthony... After about a month in the hospital, they were ready to come home, at a whopping 5 lbs each. Life will never be the same!
Welcome to the world, Maggie and Anthony... After about a month in the hospital, they were ready to come home, at a whopping 5 lbs each. Life will never be the same!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Big Change in 1999 Part 2
On December 30, 1999, we would have our first ultrasound of our baby. This was an exciting time. The Dr. said that the normal ultrasound person would be out during the holidays, but she wanted me to go to the hospital for the ultrasound so we could get that exact 21 week time snapshot. This was the time when we could learn if we would have a girl or boy, though we were still undecided about whether we wanted this knowledge or not.
I arrived early for the appointment (which my friends know may be my last time I was early). They called me back even before John arrived, and I begged for the technician to call someone else so we could wait for John to arrive. She said that we would have plenty of pictures to take, so he would not miss a thing...
We started the ultrasound and my heart was racing. I was tempted to sneak a peek at the sex and not tell John that I knew. Just as my thoughts are racing, the technician tells me that she sees ... TWO HEADS!... As in 2 babies??? As in Twins??? She said it so casually, because she had no idea that we did not know we were having twins.
This would go down as the most surprising day of my life! I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. Where was John? Was I dreaming? Was it a mistake? Surely, it had to be? Then John enters. I couldn't speak, but I pointed to him, and said something like... "Uhhhh... tell him... show him!" She showed him, and he responded as calm and casual as he always is... "wow - cool". That's it? He seemed like he had always known this would be the case. We then decided that the sex at this point was a minor detail, so we had enough surprise and were ready to know. It looked like a boy and a girl... wow.
I couldn't speak for days. When I returned to work, people would ask me about the baby, and I would just giggle uncontrollably. I didn't know what to do!
Of course, with this big change, came a shift in our plans. I had always planned to work after the baby (singular), but this would be more difficult with twins. We had not planned for me to leave my career from a financial standpoint, having just left law school, and I really wasn't ready to give up my career because I kind of liked it.
Thankfully, I had a co-worker next door to me, who 1) has twin boys that were turning 2 right before my due date, and 2) she worked part time and wanted a job share partner. My boss was very supportive, and it seemed perfect that I would be able to work part time after the babies were born.
As change happens, this co-worker was somehow persuaded by her husband to quit working and stay home with her boys. I couldn't fault her for the decision, but my plans would change a bit.
Still, I had a very understanding boss, and she allowed me to work part time in a different role after the twins. I would be able to have my career, and would hire someone to help me at home, which I really felt like I needed, since John was working so much and I really felt like I might not be capable of caring for 2 babies -- not that it would be too hard, but really, that I couldn't do it. It all seemed so overwhelming. It was nice to have an option to work part time. I will always be grateful to Debbie for her understanding and flexibility at that time.
I arrived early for the appointment (which my friends know may be my last time I was early). They called me back even before John arrived, and I begged for the technician to call someone else so we could wait for John to arrive. She said that we would have plenty of pictures to take, so he would not miss a thing...
We started the ultrasound and my heart was racing. I was tempted to sneak a peek at the sex and not tell John that I knew. Just as my thoughts are racing, the technician tells me that she sees ... TWO HEADS!... As in 2 babies??? As in Twins??? She said it so casually, because she had no idea that we did not know we were having twins.
This would go down as the most surprising day of my life! I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. Where was John? Was I dreaming? Was it a mistake? Surely, it had to be? Then John enters. I couldn't speak, but I pointed to him, and said something like... "Uhhhh... tell him... show him!" She showed him, and he responded as calm and casual as he always is... "wow - cool". That's it? He seemed like he had always known this would be the case. We then decided that the sex at this point was a minor detail, so we had enough surprise and were ready to know. It looked like a boy and a girl... wow.
I couldn't speak for days. When I returned to work, people would ask me about the baby, and I would just giggle uncontrollably. I didn't know what to do!
Of course, with this big change, came a shift in our plans. I had always planned to work after the baby (singular), but this would be more difficult with twins. We had not planned for me to leave my career from a financial standpoint, having just left law school, and I really wasn't ready to give up my career because I kind of liked it.
Thankfully, I had a co-worker next door to me, who 1) has twin boys that were turning 2 right before my due date, and 2) she worked part time and wanted a job share partner. My boss was very supportive, and it seemed perfect that I would be able to work part time after the babies were born.
As change happens, this co-worker was somehow persuaded by her husband to quit working and stay home with her boys. I couldn't fault her for the decision, but my plans would change a bit.
Still, I had a very understanding boss, and she allowed me to work part time in a different role after the twins. I would be able to have my career, and would hire someone to help me at home, which I really felt like I needed, since John was working so much and I really felt like I might not be capable of caring for 2 babies -- not that it would be too hard, but really, that I couldn't do it. It all seemed so overwhelming. It was nice to have an option to work part time. I will always be grateful to Debbie for her understanding and flexibility at that time.
Big Change in 1999
As we settle in our first home in Houston, the travel starts to wear on me. Suddenly, this glamorous career of jetting off every week became tiring. We finally had a home, and I couldn't enjoy it. I still loved my job, and my boss had been very generous to allow me to continue in my job from a different city, so I had not started to look for a job, but I was definitely getting tired.
One day, a recruiter contacted me at the right moment. I was getting ready to get on the plane and dreading it. This contact would lead to a fabulous job offer with a large Houston based computer company, and I would work hard, but the travel was minimal. It all seemed to happen for a reason. There was only one problem... that fabulous trip we had dreamed of to celebrate this new life after law school. I proclaimed that this trip was so important to me that it really would be a deal breaker. The employer agreed, and I had a new non-traveling job, and a trip of a lifetime ahead of me... little did I know how significant this trip would be.
I started my new job, worked for 2 weeks, took my trip for 3 weeks, then back to really dig in to this work. Everything seemed perfect.
About a month after returning from our European vacation, we learned we were pregnant... exciting news, since we had put all family plans on hold during all this education. It was maybe a little fast, since we had not yet caught our breath from all of the change we had experienced, but everything happens for a reason, and we were excited! What could be more perfect?
One day, a recruiter contacted me at the right moment. I was getting ready to get on the plane and dreading it. This contact would lead to a fabulous job offer with a large Houston based computer company, and I would work hard, but the travel was minimal. It all seemed to happen for a reason. There was only one problem... that fabulous trip we had dreamed of to celebrate this new life after law school. I proclaimed that this trip was so important to me that it really would be a deal breaker. The employer agreed, and I had a new non-traveling job, and a trip of a lifetime ahead of me... little did I know how significant this trip would be.
I started my new job, worked for 2 weeks, took my trip for 3 weeks, then back to really dig in to this work. Everything seemed perfect.
About a month after returning from our European vacation, we learned we were pregnant... exciting news, since we had put all family plans on hold during all this education. It was maybe a little fast, since we had not yet caught our breath from all of the change we had experienced, but everything happens for a reason, and we were excited! What could be more perfect?
1996-1999 My Career During John's Law School
As we settled in Dallas for John to start law school, I settled into a career in HR. I was working for a company in Fort Worth, who had just been acquired by a large corporate financial service company. It was a company going through a lot of changes, and it seemed the right home for this eager professional.
The company had just been acquired, and soon after I started, we would acquire a competitor, merge the two companies, and chart success. Then, about a year later, the parent company was ready to sell this combination to another competitor. This seemed so cruel at first, to have hired me and not inform me that the company had plans to sell off the business. I was still very naive in this regard. It was an exciting year and a half, when I was able to be a part of 2 acquisitions, a merger, and then a divestiture. At the end, I found myself looking for a new job, but I was armed with some great experience that someone at my level would love to have.
I landed this time with a Big 6 accounting firm and professional services firm. I ended up in a role where I would commute from Dallas to New York every week for about 2 years. It was exciting at first, and exhausting in the end, but I learned so much. This was a great job to have while John was so focused on law school. We were both free to focus on our goals, and we became stronger together because we had supported each other's goals so well during this time.
In 1999, a good 10 years after we first started dating, we were finally both out of school for the first time. It was absolutely something to celebrate. We had plans to move back to Houston, he had a job, and my traveling career could continue from Houston. Everything seemed in place.
Oh, and we had a perfect 3 week trip to Europe planned for after he took his bar exam. We had earned this trip, and were looking forward to it for sure!
The company had just been acquired, and soon after I started, we would acquire a competitor, merge the two companies, and chart success. Then, about a year later, the parent company was ready to sell this combination to another competitor. This seemed so cruel at first, to have hired me and not inform me that the company had plans to sell off the business. I was still very naive in this regard. It was an exciting year and a half, when I was able to be a part of 2 acquisitions, a merger, and then a divestiture. At the end, I found myself looking for a new job, but I was armed with some great experience that someone at my level would love to have.
I landed this time with a Big 6 accounting firm and professional services firm. I ended up in a role where I would commute from Dallas to New York every week for about 2 years. It was exciting at first, and exhausting in the end, but I learned so much. This was a great job to have while John was so focused on law school. We were both free to focus on our goals, and we became stronger together because we had supported each other's goals so well during this time.
In 1999, a good 10 years after we first started dating, we were finally both out of school for the first time. It was absolutely something to celebrate. We had plans to move back to Houston, he had a job, and my traveling career could continue from Houston. Everything seemed in place.
Oh, and we had a perfect 3 week trip to Europe planned for after he took his bar exam. We had earned this trip, and were looking forward to it for sure!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
1996 - The Next Career Move
By 1996, I had been at the security guard company for 3 years. I learned that this was about 2 years and 335 more days than my kind gentleman co-workers had bet that I would have lasted. I was a female in a world of ex military, and cop wanta be types. I did not fit the mold of previous HR managers, who had worked their way up the ranks. In addition, I was unaware for a while, but my HR Assistant was bitter about not being offered the job herself, and she was secretly plotting my demise for the first year or so, planning to make mistakes and blame me, etc. Nothing really worked, but it all added character, and made me more determined to succeed. Though I never really fit their mold, these tough men that I worked with eventually did come to respect me, and that was all that I could ask.
I had now been married to John for almost 2 years, and we were having a blast.
It was this year, that I was almost finished with my Master's in HR degree, and would be ready for that next career step soon. It was also this year, when my husband came home and informed me that he had taken the LSAT and would be applying for Law School. Screech... I thought he already had his graduate degree. In all of the years we had been together, I did not know that he wanted to go to school for so long. We had been together for 7 years, and one or both of us had always been in school. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, had visions of buying a house and settling down, and he now informed me that he was ready to go BACK to school?
As time went by, I accepted his goal for law school and thanked my lucky stars that we could do this now, and not later in some mid-life crisis when we have a mortgage and kids, etc. I was on board. I did put my foot down on his plot to go to Tulane and New Orleans, because the job market there was not good for my career. This was our first difficult conflict in our marriage, but thankfully, he had another great option. I would just have to pray that he did well in school, so that the end result would be success and I would not somehow be responsible for a goal not met because I didn't want to live in New Orleans. I would have lived there if I could have just relaxed and sipped hurricanes the whole time, but I was not encouraged by the job market, and I knew I would not make a good poor student's wife. We were not rich, by any stretch, but my days of ramen noodles were already passed and I wanted a little more by now.
I was not able to finish my Master's before we had to move to Dallas for his start at SMU law school, but I was close enough that I could finish my last couple of courses in Dallas and still finish within a year. My Dallas job search was very successful, and I had many great job choices. I would be able to support us (at least our roof and food, that is). Life was good!
I had now been married to John for almost 2 years, and we were having a blast.
It was this year, that I was almost finished with my Master's in HR degree, and would be ready for that next career step soon. It was also this year, when my husband came home and informed me that he had taken the LSAT and would be applying for Law School. Screech... I thought he already had his graduate degree. In all of the years we had been together, I did not know that he wanted to go to school for so long. We had been together for 7 years, and one or both of us had always been in school. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, had visions of buying a house and settling down, and he now informed me that he was ready to go BACK to school?
As time went by, I accepted his goal for law school and thanked my lucky stars that we could do this now, and not later in some mid-life crisis when we have a mortgage and kids, etc. I was on board. I did put my foot down on his plot to go to Tulane and New Orleans, because the job market there was not good for my career. This was our first difficult conflict in our marriage, but thankfully, he had another great option. I would just have to pray that he did well in school, so that the end result would be success and I would not somehow be responsible for a goal not met because I didn't want to live in New Orleans. I would have lived there if I could have just relaxed and sipped hurricanes the whole time, but I was not encouraged by the job market, and I knew I would not make a good poor student's wife. We were not rich, by any stretch, but my days of ramen noodles were already passed and I wanted a little more by now.
I was not able to finish my Master's before we had to move to Dallas for his start at SMU law school, but I was close enough that I could finish my last couple of courses in Dallas and still finish within a year. My Dallas job search was very successful, and I had many great job choices. I would be able to support us (at least our roof and food, that is). Life was good!
1993 - My HR Career Begins
In 1993, I was feeling more confident about my skills. I was still only 25 years old, but I had confidence. With no formal training, I became the "go to" person for HR in our management circle of our little company. I think I was different from my peers, because I really dove into the human resources factor of the business. I really was fascinated in small changes that could have a big impact on the operation. In an industry with over 100% turnover, a job in human resources was a challenge, and I became energized by this challenge.
Though I think I may have been a little hard on my former boss, nerdy "Lurch", I enjoyed meeting my new boss, who came from a large company, and seemed to really appreciate my passion for people. He would humor me a lot, listening to my ideas, and building my confidence. I worked hard, but I really had an interest in persuing some more formal training or education in human resources. This task seemed impossible with my unpredictable schedule, so I started to search for a human resources job that would allow me to work a normal office work day (Monday -Friday, daytime) so that I could try to go to school at night.
I was an easy date for a company looking to hire a hard worker. I had an interview with a company who was hiring a human resources manager for a contract security (security guards) company. On the day I had the interview, I had stayed up all night, conducting inventory for the restaurant. The hiring manager told me that the turnover in this industry is about 100%, and to keep up with needs, they place regular Sunday Classified newspaper employment advertisements. Because of this, Mondays are very hectic, and I might find myself eating lunch at my desk on Mondays. "I get lunch - and I have a desk" I thought. This sounded pretty good to me! I soon became the HR Manager for this Houston office of a company based in California that was in the business of providing security guards. This company actually had a pretty large corporate office with real live professional HR people. I was in heaven. Every time these corporate folks came to visit, I would latch onto them like I was one of them. There was this great training professional who I loved, and a super professional, beautiful corporate HR professional who had attended Berkley and I was totally in her fan club. Looking back, they probably thought I was so wierd. Looking back, I know I was wierd. I was just like a kid though. Coming from a company with no real role models, I was so happy to meet people who were like what I wanted to become.
The next thing I knew, I was signing up to start my Master's Degree in HR program. I was so excited. I kept my day job, but attended school most evenings. Even with school in the evenings, I was still sleeping more than I had in the restaurant life. I never realized how tired I had been until people would tell me how rested I looked once I was out. I loved every minute of that career in restaurant management (minus the time when the employee turned off my power at my apartment and scared me to death or the time the diswasher threw a plate at my head because I disciplined him for his temper), but I also loved having a life and an opportunity to go to school to grow my career.
By now, John and I are still dating, and he has finished his MBA, and is working in a bank, so my new career allowed me more time to spend with this boy that I certainly did not move to Houston for.
Though I think I may have been a little hard on my former boss, nerdy "Lurch", I enjoyed meeting my new boss, who came from a large company, and seemed to really appreciate my passion for people. He would humor me a lot, listening to my ideas, and building my confidence. I worked hard, but I really had an interest in persuing some more formal training or education in human resources. This task seemed impossible with my unpredictable schedule, so I started to search for a human resources job that would allow me to work a normal office work day (Monday -Friday, daytime) so that I could try to go to school at night.
I was an easy date for a company looking to hire a hard worker. I had an interview with a company who was hiring a human resources manager for a contract security (security guards) company. On the day I had the interview, I had stayed up all night, conducting inventory for the restaurant. The hiring manager told me that the turnover in this industry is about 100%, and to keep up with needs, they place regular Sunday Classified newspaper employment advertisements. Because of this, Mondays are very hectic, and I might find myself eating lunch at my desk on Mondays. "I get lunch - and I have a desk" I thought. This sounded pretty good to me! I soon became the HR Manager for this Houston office of a company based in California that was in the business of providing security guards. This company actually had a pretty large corporate office with real live professional HR people. I was in heaven. Every time these corporate folks came to visit, I would latch onto them like I was one of them. There was this great training professional who I loved, and a super professional, beautiful corporate HR professional who had attended Berkley and I was totally in her fan club. Looking back, they probably thought I was so wierd. Looking back, I know I was wierd. I was just like a kid though. Coming from a company with no real role models, I was so happy to meet people who were like what I wanted to become.
The next thing I knew, I was signing up to start my Master's Degree in HR program. I was so excited. I kept my day job, but attended school most evenings. Even with school in the evenings, I was still sleeping more than I had in the restaurant life. I never realized how tired I had been until people would tell me how rested I looked once I was out. I loved every minute of that career in restaurant management (minus the time when the employee turned off my power at my apartment and scared me to death or the time the diswasher threw a plate at my head because I disciplined him for his temper), but I also loved having a life and an opportunity to go to school to grow my career.
By now, John and I are still dating, and he has finished his MBA, and is working in a bank, so my new career allowed me more time to spend with this boy that I certainly did not move to Houston for.
1992 - I found my niche in HR
My Niche in HR was born:
It was now 1992. I had been out of college for all of 2 years. I had this career that I really did love. We worked like crazy, but we loved it. We really did. My friend and I enjoyed our jobs. We were a great team, as it turned out. She loved the culinary side of this job, and I seemed to burn myself every time I got around those hot hot ovens. I found my niche in the people side of the business. I could not stand the chaos of not having enough staff and of employees not knowing what to do. I hated stress. I wanted peace and tranquility, and I somehow thought that if I could get a handle on the people, I could create peace and tranquility for my employer. Okay, I was a little optimistic, but that is how my love of people management started. We had no process for hiring and training, and our method of scheduling staff was not very calculated or consistent. Yes, I was actually starting to understand my boss, dear "Lurch" and his desire to see charts and graphs. I learned that the employees would take on my demeaner. When I was stressed, they would be stressed, but if I could be calm, they felt and acted much more in control. The solution to this, I saw to be creating a process for everything relating to people in our establishment. This was called Human Resources Management, but we didn't really have that function, formally, in our company. I developed a real passion for everything people. It was a new love of mine.
La Madeleine French Bakery and Cafe, the story:
This company was run by this fabulous charismatic entrepeneur, Patrick Esquire who just sort of happened upon this success. He told the story that he was living in Dallas, hanging out with his good friend Stanley Marcus (of Nieman Marcus), and he couldn't find anything he liked to eat in Dallas. The kind of bread we eat in America is so different from authentic French bread. He decided to open a little bakery near SMU in Dallas (off Mockingbird Lane). He gradually added menu items from his favorite recipes of his mom. Caesar salad (which really isn't even French food, technically) and Tomato Basil soup became trademark items. Soon, there were lines around the corner of this small cafe, and the establishment had a winning concept. Eventually, other locations in Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston, and New Orleans were opened. Houston only had one location when I started, and I was hired to open a third location. The plan was to grow the Houston market as the Dallas market had grown. This unique Frenchman was very much involved in the operations. He wanted everything to remain authentic. He resisted appearing "Corporate", though his company grew to a size that he did have to have a corporate structure. He hired a heavy hitter from a large hotel chain to be CEO and to help with the growth. Eventually, a Director of HR joined the company. Though he had great experience, it would be a while before he got to the level of detail that would help our day to day operations. We needed training programs, hiring guidelines, and manager training in the people area. I was 25 years old, but I somehow thought I was going to save the day! I had a goal and a passion and that was all that mattered.
It was now 1992. I had been out of college for all of 2 years. I had this career that I really did love. We worked like crazy, but we loved it. We really did. My friend and I enjoyed our jobs. We were a great team, as it turned out. She loved the culinary side of this job, and I seemed to burn myself every time I got around those hot hot ovens. I found my niche in the people side of the business. I could not stand the chaos of not having enough staff and of employees not knowing what to do. I hated stress. I wanted peace and tranquility, and I somehow thought that if I could get a handle on the people, I could create peace and tranquility for my employer. Okay, I was a little optimistic, but that is how my love of people management started. We had no process for hiring and training, and our method of scheduling staff was not very calculated or consistent. Yes, I was actually starting to understand my boss, dear "Lurch" and his desire to see charts and graphs. I learned that the employees would take on my demeaner. When I was stressed, they would be stressed, but if I could be calm, they felt and acted much more in control. The solution to this, I saw to be creating a process for everything relating to people in our establishment. This was called Human Resources Management, but we didn't really have that function, formally, in our company. I developed a real passion for everything people. It was a new love of mine.
La Madeleine French Bakery and Cafe, the story:
This company was run by this fabulous charismatic entrepeneur, Patrick Esquire who just sort of happened upon this success. He told the story that he was living in Dallas, hanging out with his good friend Stanley Marcus (of Nieman Marcus), and he couldn't find anything he liked to eat in Dallas. The kind of bread we eat in America is so different from authentic French bread. He decided to open a little bakery near SMU in Dallas (off Mockingbird Lane). He gradually added menu items from his favorite recipes of his mom. Caesar salad (which really isn't even French food, technically) and Tomato Basil soup became trademark items. Soon, there were lines around the corner of this small cafe, and the establishment had a winning concept. Eventually, other locations in Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston, and New Orleans were opened. Houston only had one location when I started, and I was hired to open a third location. The plan was to grow the Houston market as the Dallas market had grown. This unique Frenchman was very much involved in the operations. He wanted everything to remain authentic. He resisted appearing "Corporate", though his company grew to a size that he did have to have a corporate structure. He hired a heavy hitter from a large hotel chain to be CEO and to help with the growth. Eventually, a Director of HR joined the company. Though he had great experience, it would be a while before he got to the level of detail that would help our day to day operations. We needed training programs, hiring guidelines, and manager training in the people area. I was 25 years old, but I somehow thought I was going to save the day! I had a goal and a passion and that was all that mattered.
Friday, January 16, 2009
1991 - My New Job in Houston
I settled in Houston. I was going to be happy here. I loved this quaint little bakery I was going to manage, and the concept was much more my style. People came for coffee in the morning, and busy social lunches, and many of my customers reminded me of my mom. I could relate. Funny though, they all thought I was some high school girl. They did not see this very important manager under the chef jacket we wore as managers. I would run into people from high school or college, so proud to sport my manager outfit, and I could see that they did not grasp my importance. It took a while for me to grasp that my importance was really under-rated. I was hired to open a new high volume location in Houston's booming Rice Village. This was a true adventure. We did not have a clue about opening a new restaurant, and even my boss was new at this. We hired a staff, ordered some food, got the beautiful establishment ready to open, and we were totally blown away! We had about twice as many customers than we expected, and about half as many employees as we needed. We were out of food by noon on the first day, and we started to consider adding hot dogs to our very sophisticated French cuisine. It was total chaos.
I had teammates though, and that was important. We bonded in this delirious state we were in. We were grateful for 3 hours of sleep. The more I worked, the more I thought I was even more important -- still earning $24.5K. I had a great co-worker friend who ended up a bridesmaid in my wedding. She and I would go for drinks at the end of the chaos, then home for 3 hours sleep, and back for the challenge again.
We were not so crazy about our boss. He was not so much into the physical part of this operation, but he seemed to fancy charts and graphs. This was before the introduction of Windows so creating charts and graphs of our staffing schedules on 3 hours sleep seemed like torture. I didn't really see how this was a priority, in the scheme of keeping this establishment a float. We called him "Lurch" (like the guy on the Munsters). He was so serious and kind of a nerd, and we were sooooo... cool and fun.
I had teammates though, and that was important. We bonded in this delirious state we were in. We were grateful for 3 hours of sleep. The more I worked, the more I thought I was even more important -- still earning $24.5K. I had a great co-worker friend who ended up a bridesmaid in my wedding. She and I would go for drinks at the end of the chaos, then home for 3 hours sleep, and back for the challenge again.
We were not so crazy about our boss. He was not so much into the physical part of this operation, but he seemed to fancy charts and graphs. This was before the introduction of Windows so creating charts and graphs of our staffing schedules on 3 hours sleep seemed like torture. I didn't really see how this was a priority, in the scheme of keeping this establishment a float. We called him "Lurch" (like the guy on the Munsters). He was so serious and kind of a nerd, and we were sooooo... cool and fun.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
1990 - My Career in Restaurant Management and How it all started... my transition from college to very important restaurant manager.
John and I met in college at Oklahoma State University in Stillwater, Oklahoma, when we were 21 years old. We were both pretty laid back students, and we both had a lot of fun in college. At one point in college, after a frustrating semester with low grades due to this fun I was having, my dad proclaimed that I would be lucky to find a job at all in my future. (My dad believed in tough love, for sure). I didn't really take school seriously until I could start to see the link between what I was learning and what I was going to do when I grew up. I was not one of those students who could fake it or wing it. I was always amazed by friends who would say that they were going to fail an exam, and when the grades came out, they actually made an 'A'. How does that happen? When I said I was going to fail, I usually ended up with a pretty dag gum low grade. My dad's lack of confidence in my future may have motivated me to get serious toward the end of college.
I chose a major in Hotel Restaurant Management and a minor in Spanish, because a friend of mine who was attending college in a different state had a plan to go work at the Barcelona Olympics. I have no idea why this was my goal. I was not an athlete, and aside from my childhood infatuation with Nadia Comoneche, had never really been a big sports fan. By the time we finished college, my friend had plans to get married, and I had been brainwashed that I couldn't get a job, so was motivated to show those neigh sayers they were wrong. I wanted to be out on my own, makin' a livin'. Mannnn... did I think I was hot stuff!
I had fun the summer before my last semester working internships at Doubletree hotels and Chimi's restaurant in Tulsa. I was actually pretty good at working in a chaotic environment. Other interns hated the cocktail rotation at the Doubletree, because it was so crazy and customers often got rude after many drinks. I had one night during a car convention with about $300 in tips, and that was all I needed to excel in the cocktail rotation. I did dump juevos rancheros in a customers lap, breaking a couple of margarita glasses on the way down, one time, but I have been able to use that story for many laughs over the years. Can you imagine anything worse in your lap? I really felt like I was good at this hospitality thing. I was ready to roll in this career.
I took 21 credit hours my last semester so that I could get out in the world and show my stuff. I was in such a hurry. Looking back, I wish I had taken that extra time to take a golf class, and enjoy a few more months of being a student. In December of 1990, there was no turning back though. I was on my own, and my dad was so ready for me to be on my own, skeptical as he may have been.
Anyway, I was not a loser after all, but maybe a late bloomer. I graduated from college with solid middle of the class grades, and a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management from a good school. I was so proud to have a few job offers to choose from upon my graduation (I showed Dad! Ha!) I believe Doubletree Hotels offered me $17K, and General Mills Restaurants offered me $23.5K, so although I had always pictured myself in a setting like Arthur Haley's movie Hotel, that extra 6K made me abandon my hotel career for a life in restaurant management. I felt like I had won the lottery when I accepted my first job with General Mills, and they placed me in a management training program in Red Lobster. I completed a 3 month training, and I was officially a manager. I was placed in a restaurant in St. Louis, a place I had never been. I thought I was so worldly now, getting out on my own.
John and I were still dating at the time, but were not at all talking about a future beyond dating. Because I am a strong independent woman, I left him behind in Oklahoma, trying to figure out what he would do when he grew up. He graduated a semester after me, and had visions of graduate school or law school, and I just simply could not wait on him to chart his path. I had very important things to manage in my career. I was not waiting around for a boy.
I was 24 years old, and I was a "very important manager"... so I thought. I showed up at my first job with Ralph Lauren navy pants, and Cole Hahn shoes, only to learn that I needed to have garden boots and Dockers for this job. I was the lowest of the low men on the totem pole. I was a shrimp splitter, a floor scrubber, a fry cook, you name it, I learned it. Not that I thought I was too good for this, but it was just much harder work than I had envisioned when I chose this major in college. I grew up on a ranch in Oklahoma though, so I was used to hard work. I was tough. I tried to be important, but at the end of the day I was a disaster. My shoes were soaked in the slimy residue that ends up on the floor of a busy restaurant at the end of the day, and my glasses often were so spotted with things like Caesar salad dressing or roumalaude sauce that it was amazing I had seen anything during the day. I wouldn't notice the glasses until I was driving home at around midnight, and would be embarrassed that I had walked around like this for so long. I also was the low man when it came to shift schedule. I was the newbie, and I was single one with no children, so this job was my life! I worked every night shift, and certainly most week-end nights.
I needed to pay my dues. I wondered how long one must do this to actually pay said dues, because about two months into it I felt like I had been there for years, and was looking for a promotion and a large pay increase. I laugh looking back at how important I thought I was. I really struggled. My boss was about 5 ft tall, and had worked his way up from a fry cook. He was very aggressive, and frequently threatened people by saying "I will tear your face off." (What does that mean?). I know he must have laughed when this 24 year old sorority girl showed up in his establishment, sent by Corporate, with no input from him. He looked at me like a child who knew nothing... and looking back, I really had a lot to learn. He was buddies with all the employees, and regularly went out with them after work. They all probably had a lot of laughs at my expense, but I had no clue. I was younger than most of my employees, and I was so so so so Greeeeen! They all knew it. They tried to walk over me, and eventually, I figured out how to be the boss, though I had like 20 years less experience than my employees, and seemed a child to most of them.
I did manage to take control of the situation, and I think I was starting to actually be taken seriously, when I walked in on an uncomfortable situation with my boss and a female employee. I didn't really see anything, but I was very suspicious of this man. He hinted to me that nobody would believe me over him, which I took as a threat. My job suddenly seemed unpleasant. All of the excitement I felt about setting the world on fire with my great management talent was blown away by a boss that seemed to have questionable ethics. I would call and whine to my mom about my misery, and she taught me one very important lesson... she said "Don't complain about the situation if you are not doing anything to get yourself out of the situation". It had never occurred to me that I had a choice in the matter. I had never entertained the thought of quitting a job. I guess in this new found adult life, I actually had this choice, and my mom just gave me her approval. By now, St. Louis was starting to get cold, and the holiday schedule at my restaurant was posted, in which I would be the main manager working both Thanksgiving and Christmas weeks, allowing my co-workers to have time with their families. To them, I was the single gal, who had no life, and thus would not mind working. To me, I had never spent a holiday away from my parents and siblings, and the sight of this schedule made tears well up in my eyes. I was trying to be a grown up, but I needed my mom and dad for the holidays.
By now it was fall, and John was attending graduate school in Houston. I shared with John my frustration about my job, and he started sending me the classified ads from the Houston Chronicle (before online job search was possible). He was too proud to ask me to move to Houston, and I was too proud to admit I was moving to Houston for him. I easily had a couple of job offers, and at a starting salary $24.5K, I accepted a position as a restaurant manager for a new company, owned by a French entrepreneur called la Madeleine French Bakery & Cafe.
I thought I was hot stuff. I told myself I was moving to Houston for this fabulous career of mine and not for a boy. No, No... not at all for a boy.
I remember when my dad and I loaded up the Ryder truck from St. Louis to Houston with a speed ability of only 55 mph, and the lecture began about how John was a free loader who would surely want to move in with me and take advantage of my successful career and big income. Dad was worried that John had chosen to go to grad school instead of getting out there and working. Of course, my dad totally denies this conversation today, but I remember that painful 16 hour drive in the Ryder truck very clearly. Dad will forever deny it!
I chose a major in Hotel Restaurant Management and a minor in Spanish, because a friend of mine who was attending college in a different state had a plan to go work at the Barcelona Olympics. I have no idea why this was my goal. I was not an athlete, and aside from my childhood infatuation with Nadia Comoneche, had never really been a big sports fan. By the time we finished college, my friend had plans to get married, and I had been brainwashed that I couldn't get a job, so was motivated to show those neigh sayers they were wrong. I wanted to be out on my own, makin' a livin'. Mannnn... did I think I was hot stuff!
I had fun the summer before my last semester working internships at Doubletree hotels and Chimi's restaurant in Tulsa. I was actually pretty good at working in a chaotic environment. Other interns hated the cocktail rotation at the Doubletree, because it was so crazy and customers often got rude after many drinks. I had one night during a car convention with about $300 in tips, and that was all I needed to excel in the cocktail rotation. I did dump juevos rancheros in a customers lap, breaking a couple of margarita glasses on the way down, one time, but I have been able to use that story for many laughs over the years. Can you imagine anything worse in your lap? I really felt like I was good at this hospitality thing. I was ready to roll in this career.
I took 21 credit hours my last semester so that I could get out in the world and show my stuff. I was in such a hurry. Looking back, I wish I had taken that extra time to take a golf class, and enjoy a few more months of being a student. In December of 1990, there was no turning back though. I was on my own, and my dad was so ready for me to be on my own, skeptical as he may have been.
Anyway, I was not a loser after all, but maybe a late bloomer. I graduated from college with solid middle of the class grades, and a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management from a good school. I was so proud to have a few job offers to choose from upon my graduation (I showed Dad! Ha!) I believe Doubletree Hotels offered me $17K, and General Mills Restaurants offered me $23.5K, so although I had always pictured myself in a setting like Arthur Haley's movie Hotel, that extra 6K made me abandon my hotel career for a life in restaurant management. I felt like I had won the lottery when I accepted my first job with General Mills, and they placed me in a management training program in Red Lobster. I completed a 3 month training, and I was officially a manager. I was placed in a restaurant in St. Louis, a place I had never been. I thought I was so worldly now, getting out on my own.
John and I were still dating at the time, but were not at all talking about a future beyond dating. Because I am a strong independent woman, I left him behind in Oklahoma, trying to figure out what he would do when he grew up. He graduated a semester after me, and had visions of graduate school or law school, and I just simply could not wait on him to chart his path. I had very important things to manage in my career. I was not waiting around for a boy.
I was 24 years old, and I was a "very important manager"... so I thought. I showed up at my first job with Ralph Lauren navy pants, and Cole Hahn shoes, only to learn that I needed to have garden boots and Dockers for this job. I was the lowest of the low men on the totem pole. I was a shrimp splitter, a floor scrubber, a fry cook, you name it, I learned it. Not that I thought I was too good for this, but it was just much harder work than I had envisioned when I chose this major in college. I grew up on a ranch in Oklahoma though, so I was used to hard work. I was tough. I tried to be important, but at the end of the day I was a disaster. My shoes were soaked in the slimy residue that ends up on the floor of a busy restaurant at the end of the day, and my glasses often were so spotted with things like Caesar salad dressing or roumalaude sauce that it was amazing I had seen anything during the day. I wouldn't notice the glasses until I was driving home at around midnight, and would be embarrassed that I had walked around like this for so long. I also was the low man when it came to shift schedule. I was the newbie, and I was single one with no children, so this job was my life! I worked every night shift, and certainly most week-end nights.
I needed to pay my dues. I wondered how long one must do this to actually pay said dues, because about two months into it I felt like I had been there for years, and was looking for a promotion and a large pay increase. I laugh looking back at how important I thought I was. I really struggled. My boss was about 5 ft tall, and had worked his way up from a fry cook. He was very aggressive, and frequently threatened people by saying "I will tear your face off." (What does that mean?). I know he must have laughed when this 24 year old sorority girl showed up in his establishment, sent by Corporate, with no input from him. He looked at me like a child who knew nothing... and looking back, I really had a lot to learn. He was buddies with all the employees, and regularly went out with them after work. They all probably had a lot of laughs at my expense, but I had no clue. I was younger than most of my employees, and I was so so so so Greeeeen! They all knew it. They tried to walk over me, and eventually, I figured out how to be the boss, though I had like 20 years less experience than my employees, and seemed a child to most of them.
I did manage to take control of the situation, and I think I was starting to actually be taken seriously, when I walked in on an uncomfortable situation with my boss and a female employee. I didn't really see anything, but I was very suspicious of this man. He hinted to me that nobody would believe me over him, which I took as a threat. My job suddenly seemed unpleasant. All of the excitement I felt about setting the world on fire with my great management talent was blown away by a boss that seemed to have questionable ethics. I would call and whine to my mom about my misery, and she taught me one very important lesson... she said "Don't complain about the situation if you are not doing anything to get yourself out of the situation". It had never occurred to me that I had a choice in the matter. I had never entertained the thought of quitting a job. I guess in this new found adult life, I actually had this choice, and my mom just gave me her approval. By now, St. Louis was starting to get cold, and the holiday schedule at my restaurant was posted, in which I would be the main manager working both Thanksgiving and Christmas weeks, allowing my co-workers to have time with their families. To them, I was the single gal, who had no life, and thus would not mind working. To me, I had never spent a holiday away from my parents and siblings, and the sight of this schedule made tears well up in my eyes. I was trying to be a grown up, but I needed my mom and dad for the holidays.
By now it was fall, and John was attending graduate school in Houston. I shared with John my frustration about my job, and he started sending me the classified ads from the Houston Chronicle (before online job search was possible). He was too proud to ask me to move to Houston, and I was too proud to admit I was moving to Houston for him. I easily had a couple of job offers, and at a starting salary $24.5K, I accepted a position as a restaurant manager for a new company, owned by a French entrepreneur called la Madeleine French Bakery & Cafe.
I thought I was hot stuff. I told myself I was moving to Houston for this fabulous career of mine and not for a boy. No, No... not at all for a boy.
I remember when my dad and I loaded up the Ryder truck from St. Louis to Houston with a speed ability of only 55 mph, and the lecture began about how John was a free loader who would surely want to move in with me and take advantage of my successful career and big income. Dad was worried that John had chosen to go to grad school instead of getting out there and working. Of course, my dad totally denies this conversation today, but I remember that painful 16 hour drive in the Ryder truck very clearly. Dad will forever deny it!
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