I left my corporate career 5 years ago, in the middle of one of the largest corporate mergers in the high tech industry. My twins were almost three years old at the time, and I had enjoyed a part time career for the first 2 years of their life, but when my company announced this merger, I knew my struggles with part-timerhood were over. The 2 years had been a gift, as we really needed the income, and I really needed the balance, and my hubby was working and traveling, trying to establish himself in his new career when the twins were born… and I really worried that I was not up to the job of staying at home full time with these tiny preemie twins. It was not that I was lazy, or didn't think I could handle the stress, or didn't want to be the best mom ever. I honestly was afraid that I just was not capable. I forget where I put my keys almost daily, and I leave the lights on often, sometimes leave my purse in my car even (until my car was broken into for this reason). I am the one that goes into a room, then forgets why I traveled there. What if I forget the babies? What if I forget to feed them? (duhhh… I didn't know much about babies then – I soon learned that they don't really let you forget to feed them). I forget to feed the cat. I had all of these arguments for hiring someone to help me care for these fragile angelic beings I had given birth to, and keeping my career, especially since my nice boss allowed me to stay on in a part-time career.
When the big merger was announced, I was already struggling to stay part time. I was really doing a full time job in a reduced hour job, since I was working at home most nights after I put the kids to bed, but at least I had some flexibility, which helped my family. I saw that there would likely be no place for a part time HR person in the new company, at least for a while. After much consideration, I offered to manage a mega project in the first year of the merger, which involved managing the HR integration for a business unit, including the responsibility for 4,000 layoffs. I knew that this position would end after this first year, and I was able to leave on a high note. During this year, I actually enjoyed the challenging project. I became more engaged in the business than I had been since becoming a mother. I received a lot of recognition for managing this project, and I was perhaps more visible than I had ever been in a project. I had a few inquiries about my plans to leave after the project, and propositions to stay on. This was tempting, because I really was loving the work.
This was like tug of war though. I often found myself on the phone with my husband at 6:00 pm (the time I needed to leave to get home for childcare provider), negotiating with hubby about who's work was more pressing, and who would go home. When I was at work, I felt like I was neglecting my children, and when I was at home, I knew I was neglecting my work. I really never felt like everything was as it should be. I saw no other choice but to leave at the end of the merger integration project, and become a stay at home mom, for a while. I was not sure how long I would last at home, but I was ready to try it, and looking forward to spending time with my kids.
I think I always knew I would need to find something to do as a career from home… I started researching work from home opportunities almost immediately.
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